Common mistakes made by cat guardians
by Anita Kelsey
We all make mistakes with our cats. Most are not intentional and usually come from loving them, wanting the best for them, or simply misunderstanding what a cat needs from us.
The problem is that cats are often expected to fit comfortably into a very human world. We expect them to live where we choose, with the animals we choose, eat when we decide, toilet where we want them to, sleep when it suits us and behave in ways that we consider acceptable.
Yet cats have their own needs, instincts, personalities, preferences and boundaries.
Having worked with cats and their guardians for many years, I repeatedly see the same issues appearing in behaviour cases. Very often, the behaviour itself is not really the problem. The cat is simply responding naturally to an environment, situation or expectation that does not quite work for them.
Here are some of the most common mistakes I see.
1. Telling a cat off for displaying natural feline behaviour
Scratching furniture, jumping onto worktops, climbing, hunting, chasing, digging, spraying, vocalising and even certain forms of aggression are all part of the feline behavioural repertoire.
That does not mean we have to happily accept every behaviour wherever it happens, but punishment does not teach a cat what we would prefer them to do instead.
If your cat scratches the sofa, ask why the sofa is more appealing than the scratching post.
If they climb onto the kitchen counter, ask whether they have enough appropriate high places elsewhere.
If they urinate outside the litter tray, do not assume they are being naughty, spiteful or trying to punish you.
The question should always be:
Why is my cat doing this?
Once you understand the motivation behind a behaviour, you have a far better chance of changing the circumstances surrounding it.
2. Not providing an environment that allows a cat to behave like a cat
This is particularly important for indoor cats.
A home may look beautiful to us but offer very little from a feline perspective. Cats naturally want to climb, scratch, hide, observe from height, chase, stalk, explore and rest somewhere they feel secure.
Cat trees, shelving, window resting areas, scratching surfaces, hiding places, beds at different heights, puzzle feeders and opportunities for play are not unnecessary luxuries.
They are part of creating an environment in which a cat can express normal behaviour.
The smaller the territory available to a cat, the more thoughtfully that space needs to be used.
3. Providing litter trays that are too small, unsuitable or too few
Litter tray problems are one of the most common issues cat guardians contact me about.
Many commercially available litter trays are simply too small, particularly for larger cats. A cat should be able to enter the tray comfortably, turn around, dig and position themselves without feeling cramped.
Placement is equally important. A tray beside a noisy washing machine, in a busy hallway or somewhere another cat can block access may not feel safe.
In multi-cat households, expecting several cats to happily share one or two litter trays can also create problems.
A commonly recommended starting point is one tray per cat, plus one extra, positioned in separate areas rather than lined up together.
And remember that cats can have very strong preferences regarding litter type, tray style, cleanliness and location.
4. Not providing enough stimulation
Cats are predators.
Even the most pampered house cat still has a brain and body designed for hunting.
A cat who spends hour after hour with very little to do may become frustrated, withdrawn, destructive, excessively vocal, demanding or overweight.
Interactive play should mimic elements of hunting, allowing the cat to stalk, chase, pounce and catch.
Rotate toys rather than leaving dozens scattered around permanently. Use puzzle feeders, cardboard boxes, tunnels and opportunities to investigate new scents and objects.
Enrichment does not need to be expensive.
Sometimes an empty cardboard box is more exciting to a cat than the expensive toy that arrived inside it.
5. Treating cats like possessions rather than sentient individuals
Cats are not ornaments, accessories or commodities.
They are individuals with emotional needs, preferences, fears and limits.
We decide where they live, whether they share their territory, whether they go outside, what they eat and when they receive affection.
With that amount of control comes responsibility.
A cat should be allowed choice wherever possible, including whether they want to interact, whether they want to be stroked and when they need space.
Loving a cat also means respecting when they do not want what we want.
6. Assuming all cats are basically the same
One cat may adore visitors.
Another may disappear under the bed.
One may enjoy being carried around.
Another may tolerate being touched for only a few seconds.
One cat may happily live with several other cats while another may find sharing territory extremely stressful.
Breed, genetics, early socialisation, previous experiences, health and individual personality all influence behaviour.
Advice that worked perfectly for your previous cat may be entirely inappropriate for the one living with you now.
Always treat the cat in front of you as an individual.
7. Bringing too many cats into one household
More cats does not necessarily equal more happiness.
Every additional cat changes the social and territorial dynamics within the home.
Some multi-cat households work extremely well. Others appear peaceful to humans while subtle tension occurs every day.
A cat does not have to be physically fighting another cat to feel stressed by them.
Blocking hallways, staring, guarding doorways, preventing access to litter trays, following another cat, occupying important resting areas or simply making another cat reluctant to enter a room can all be signs of social tension.
There comes a point in some households where adding one more cat tips the balance.
8. Expecting cats to automatically become friends
One of the most common phrases I hear is:
“But my last two cats got on beautifully.”
That has absolutely no bearing on whether your current cat will accept another individual.
Cats do not automatically want feline companionship simply because another cat is available.
Even cats described by a rescue as being “good with other cats” may not get along with your particular cat.
Friendships cannot be manufactured.
Sometimes the realistic goal of an introduction is not cuddling together on the sofa but simply two cats learning to share a home peacefully while largely avoiding one another.
And that can still be a successful outcome.
9. Rushing introductions
Placing two unfamiliar cats together and hoping they will “sort it out” can create problems that are far harder to resolve later.
Cats should generally be introduced gradually.
The newcomer needs their own safe base camp, followed by scent exchange, controlled exposure and gradual visual introductions before unrestricted access is considered.
The speed should be dictated by the cats, particularly the cat who is struggling the most.
Introductions cannot be rushed simply because humans are becoming impatient with keeping doors closed.
10. Not acting when a problem first begins
Many behaviour problems are allowed to continue for weeks, months or even years before professional help is sought.
Guardians often hope the problem will simply disappear.
Sometimes it does.
Often it becomes established.
If two cats suddenly begin fighting, a cat starts urinating around the home, aggression appears unexpectedly or behaviour changes dramatically, investigate early.
The longer a behaviour is practised and the longer stress continues, the more complicated the situation may become.
Early intervention can make an enormous difference.
11. Assuming a behavioural problem is purely behavioural
A sudden change in behaviour should always raise the possibility of a medical problem.
Pain and illness can cause aggression, withdrawal, irritability, house soiling, reduced tolerance, hiding, excessive vocalisation and changes in social behaviour.
Cats are extremely good at disguising pain.
An older cat who suddenly becomes grumpy may not simply be “getting old”. They may be uncomfortable.
A cat urinating outside the litter tray may have cystitis, arthritis or another medical issue.
Behaviour and physical health are closely connected, which is why veterinary assessment is often an important part of behaviour work.
12. Getting a kitten as a companion for an elderly cat
This is something I encounter far too often.
A guardian loses one of a bonded or long-term pair and, understandably, worries that the surviving cat must be lonely.
A kitten is then brought into the home.
Humans see an adorable, playful bundle of energy.
The elderly resident cat may see something completely different.
Suddenly their peaceful territory contains an individual who wants to chase them, jump on them, ambush them and play at all hours of the day.
Some older cats tolerate kittens beautifully.
Others find them exhausting and deeply stressful.
Age, personality and activity level should always be considered when choosing a potential companion.
13. Choosing the new cat that YOU want rather than the cat your resident cat may cope with
Looks should be one of the least important considerations when choosing a feline companion for an existing cat.
Temperament, confidence, activity level, age and previous social experience may be far more important.
You may desperately want a kitten, a Bengal or a very lively young cat, but is that what your quiet ten-year-old resident cat would choose?
When another cat already lives in the home, compatibility needs to take priority over human preference.
14. Not providing enough resources in multi-cat households
Cats living together should not be forced to share everything.
Provide multiple feeding areas, water stations, litter trays, beds, scratching areas, hiding places and elevated resting positions.
Resources should also be distributed around the home.
Five food bowls placed beside one another are effectively one feeding location.
Three litter trays sitting side by side are effectively one toileting location.
Spreading resources reduces competition and allows cats to move around their territory without continually encountering one another.
15. Forcing interaction
A hiding cat does not necessarily need to be pulled out.
A nervous cat does not need to be handed to visitors so they can “get used to people”.
Two cats who are avoiding one another do not need to be placed beside each other.
Allowing choice is extremely important.
Confidence develops when a cat learns that they can retreat from something that worries them.
Removing that choice can increase fear rather than resolve it.
16. Misreading feline body language
A wagging tail does not necessarily mean happiness.
A cat exposing their stomach is not necessarily asking for a tummy rub.
Purring does not always mean contentment.
And a cat who suddenly bites during stroking has often given several subtle signals beforehand that they have had enough.
Learn to watch ears, eyes, whiskers, tail movement, posture, muscle tension and how a cat positions themselves around people and other animals.
Cats communicate constantly.
The problem is that humans do not always notice until the communication becomes very obvious.
17. Forgetting the grooming needs of long-haired cats
Long-haired cats can require a significant amount of grooming.
This needs to be considered before adopting one.
Coats can knot and mat surprisingly quickly, particularly around the armpits, belly, chest, trousers and underneath the tail.
Severe matting is not simply cosmetic. It can pull painfully on the skin and restrict movement.
Grooming should ideally begin when a cat is young and be introduced gently and positively.
Waiting until the coat is badly matted before attempting grooming can turn the whole experience into a battle.
18. Overfeeding
We very often show love through food.
Unfortunately, obesity is not an act of kindness.
Extra weight places increased strain on joints and can contribute to a range of health problems.
Treats also count as calories, as does food given by different members of the household who may not realise somebody else has already fed the cat.
Food can certainly be used positively for training and enrichment, but portions need to be considered as part of the cat’s overall daily intake.
Keeping a cat at a healthy weight is one of the most important things we can do for their long-term welfare.
19. Expecting a cat to tolerate too much handling
We often expect cats to accept being picked up, cuddled, kissed, groomed, restrained and touched simply because we love them.
Not every cat enjoys this.
Some cats adore physical contact while others prefer interaction on their own terms.
Watch what your cat is telling you.
If they repeatedly move away, tense their body, turn their head towards your hand, flatten their ears or swish their tail, they may be asking you to stop.
Respecting those smaller signals means they are less likely to feel the need to escalate to scratching or biting.
20. Never preparing cats for carriers, grooming or veterinary visits
For many cats, the carrier appears from the cupboard once a year immediately before something unpleasant happens.
Unsurprisingly, the sight of it becomes terrifying.
Leave carriers out occasionally as part of the furniture. Put bedding, treats or toys inside and allow the cat to investigate voluntarily.
The same principle applies to handling.
Gently getting a cat used to having paws touched, ears looked at and their body handled can make veterinary examinations and grooming much easier later in life.
Do not wait until something urgently needs doing before introducing the experience.
21. Ignoring the importance of routine and predictability
Cats generally cope well when their environment feels predictable.
Sudden changes involving feeding times, household members, furniture, building works, visitors, new babies, new animals or moving home can all affect behaviour.
We cannot prevent life from changing, but we can help cats through those changes.
Keep important routines as consistent as possible and make sure familiar resting areas, scents and resources remain available.
22. Assuming an outdoor cat can simply become an indoor cat without compensating for what has been lost
Sometimes keeping a cat indoors becomes necessary for medical, environmental or safety reasons.
But closing the door is only part of the process.
A cat who previously spent hours climbing, exploring, hunting, patrolling and investigating has suddenly lost a huge amount of stimulation.
Indoor life needs to compensate for that loss through enrichment, play, climbing opportunities, viewing platforms, food puzzles and, where suitable, access to a secure garden or catio.
23. Humanising feline motives
One of the most damaging assumptions is that cats behave out of spite.
“She weed on my bed because I went away.”
“He scratched the sofa because I told him off.”
“She attacked the other cat because she’s jealous.”
Cats certainly experience emotions, but attributing complicated human motives to behaviour can stop us investigating its real cause.
What looks like revenge may actually be anxiety.
What looks like jealousy may be competition over resources.
What looks like stubbornness may be fear.
Again, look for the why.
24. Assuming that because cats are independent they need very little from us
Cats have historically been portrayed as low-maintenance pets.
They may not need walking several times a day, but that does not mean they need little interaction or consideration.
Cats need appropriate nutrition, healthcare, enrichment, play, environmental choice, social interaction on their terms and guardians who notice subtle changes in behaviour.
Independence should never be confused with absence of need.
25. Forgetting that the cat did not choose the situation
Perhaps this is the most important point of all.
Your cat did not choose the house.
They did not choose whether another cat moved in.
They did not choose the dog, the baby, the visitors, the renovations or the neighbouring cats wandering through the garden.
We make almost all of those decisions for them.
When behavioural problems appear, rather than immediately asking:
“How do I stop my cat doing this?”
I would encourage guardians to first ask:
“What is my cat trying to tell me?”
That small change in thinking can completely alter how we approach feline behaviour.
Most cats are not trying to make our lives difficult.
They are simply trying to navigate the circumstances we have placed them in using the behaviours nature gave them.
The more we understand those behaviours, respect cats as individuals and consider situations from their point of view, the better our relationships with them will become.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Anita Kelsey holds a first class honours degree in Feline Behaviour and Psychology (work based BA Hons) and runs a vet referral service dedicated strictly to the diagnosis and treatment of behaviour problems in cats. She is also a qualified cat groomer and specialises in grooming challenging or phobic cats. Anita, a strong advocate of a vegan lifestyle, is based in East Sussex but consults all over the UK as well as international requests. She lives with her husband, a music producer, and 1 Norwegian Forest cat, Kiki.
Click to read genuine reviews on Google Maps: https://maps.app.goo.gl/4grgX2M7kUB2EevJ8
Her first book ‘Claws. Confessions Of A Professional Cat Groomer‘ was published by John Blake in 2017 with her second book, Let’s Talk About Cats self published via Amazon worldwide in 2020. The Little Book Of Extraordinary Cats is Anita’s third book out now 2026.
